We all come into this life to learn, grow, and expand on a Soul level. This process happens through our life experiences, our studies, our work, and our relationships- both physical and spiritual. This is pretty common knowledge in the self growth world, but what no one seems to mention are the downfalls of growing and expanding. The growing pains. Growing pains exist in all aspects of our lives where we are moving forward, out of our comfort zones. They can affect us internally, in our relationships, and in our work. I have experienced a number of these pains while growing my business, expanding my Spiritual relationship as well as my gifts, and even by just getting clearer about who I am and the lifestyle I choose. I know that other people are facing these obstacles as well, so I asked Spirit to assist me with offering you some guidance on how to get through these barriers, and come out stronger than ever.
There are 5 main areas where I’ve noticed these growing pains take place. Below are these main areas, along with the growing pains people experience, and guidance on how to get through them.
Through our lives, we will all go through moments that test our faith, and moments that bring us closer to our Creator. Some expand their relationship with their higher power through Religion, some through Spiritual experiences, some through Yoga and Meditation. Spirit tells me there is no right or wrong way, these are extremely personal experiences, and vary. Some of the growing pains around Faith/Spirituality expansion are: a realization that everything we have been taught is not true, a realization that I have not been living in a way that is true to my faith/beliefs, that there is in fact something more, this divine connection I have been seeking is inside of me, and nothing external will fill this void, I have been looking in all of the wrong places, I have turned my back on my faith/beliefs, as I share and live in alignment with my spiritual beliefs/faith others no longer accept me, I have been keeping my beliefs separate from my life, nothing is in alignment, I have so much more work to do, a sudden increase in compassion and empathy, an increase in intuition or psychic gifts, a longing to bring my life into full alignment.
People on paths of Spiritual growth often experience all of these feelings, and more. The key is to trust that what is coming up for you is showing you where to look. You may need to look at your job, relationships, home life, actions, thoughts, and words, and really ask if they are in alignment with your Spiritual or Religious beliefs. You may drastically change your life, or you may make changes slowly. Just know, that if you feel like everything is wrong, or like you no longer belong in your life, it just means there are some changes you are now ready to make. As you progress on your Spiritual path, you will be able to get clear about what your core beliefs and values are. This clarity may reinforce what you’ve known, or destroy what you’ve known. Be compassionate with yourself through this process, and allow yourself to take your Truths and create a foundation for your life. Once you have your foundation in place, you can look at the rest of your life and evaluate where you need to make shifts and changes.
The people in our lives are always here to help us grow and expand. Some will grow and expand with us, and others will be lessons along our way, that come and go as we learn. Many people encounter the following experiences in their relationships as they are moving along in their own growth: realization this relationship no longer works for me, new desires for healthy, collaborative relationships, boundary issues, the need to be authentic in relationships, the desire to feel seen and validated, realizations of imbalance, or unhealthy relationships, a desire to be around more like-minded people, feeling like they won’t let me change, feeling misunderstood, or even trapped.
Relationships are always a complicated thing. They are probably the second most common reason people come to me. Now, what the majority of people do, is when these feelings come up, they try to suppress them, and they cling on even more to the relationships they’re in. Change is a scary thing, and letting go can be painful. There’s also this common theme among people who are on the self growth path of non-judgement. Which I’m all for, the problem is while judging is not healthy, discernment is healthy. We have the right to choose who we want in our lives, who we want to spend our time with, and how we want to feel in our relationships. Our relationships can grow with us, or we can grow out of them. It depends on the relationship and the people involved. It takes real soul searching to decide whether it’s time to walk away from a relationship or not, but when your intuition gives you the answer, please listen. It makes things so much easier. And I promise you, that even though you may lose a lot of friends on this path, you will make new ones. You may also experience periods of time where you are more solitary and have less people around you, followed by periods of having plenty of friends and socializing experiences. Trust that if you’re alone, it’s for a reason, and when you’re ready for new people to enter your life, you will meet them.
Health is a big one. I think the majority of people actually begin their journey of growth and expansion due to health complications. For some it’s physical health, others mental health, and for many it’s both. What people don’t realize, is that sometimes we face health problems because we are growing and evolving, but we are resisting it. Sickness is resistance. Health is being in flow, being in alignment. As you are moving forward in your health, here is what you may experience: change of lifestyle that differs from those around you, judgement from others, feeling misunderstood, a desire to experience a more healthy atmosphere, resistance to doing the work to stay healthy, fear of failure, misdiagnosis, an increase of health problems due to your body trying to tell you to bring your life into balance, or due to ignoring your intuition, an increase of health issues as you face emotional issues- it is part of the releasing process.
Our bodies are more intelligent than we give them credit for. They know when we are in the wrong place, circumstance, or with the wrong person. Always listen to your body. If your health is going down the drain, something is off. Also, as you are moving forward in your life, and healing, find a healthy method to release old emotions and traumas. Exercise, writing, burning letters, punching pillows, singing, creative projects… We all release things differently, so find what works for you. The faster you can release what’s coming up, the faster your body can recover. Get lots of rest and stay hydrated as well. It sounds so simple, but people forget that as we are evolving on other levels, our body needs to keep up with us. Get plenty of healthy food, water, and rest so you can stay energized and continue to move forward.
4. Lifestyle. Self Expression.
This one is kind of obvious, but I still wanted to mention it. As we grow, we like different experiences. We also get clarity around who we are, the lifestyle we want. Here are the growing pains: our desire to express ourselves increases, our ability to conform decreases, any area where we are being inauthentic becomes drastically intolerable, lost interest in certain areas, new interests, less interest in material things, more of an interest in actual experiences, a desire to get rid of everything and start fresh.
Allow yourself to change. If you no longer like something, that’s okay. If you want to change your entire life style, change it. This life is yours, and we aren’t guaranteed a certain amount of time, so live your life the way you want, and be yourself. I know this is such a cliche, but so many people live their lives based on what others expect of them, and they dress and act how they think they are supposed to. Now, I am not saying to use this as an excuse to not grow up, to not take responsibility, or to treat others badly. I’m just saying that as you grow, check in with yourself, ask yourself if this life style is really bringing you happiness, if you’re really dressing in a way that presents yourself in the way that you want to be seen. If not, make changes. Let your life show the world who you are.
I saved the best for last. This section is for entrepreneurs, and also for anyone who wants to excel in their career, even stay at home moms- trust me, running a household is probably the most difficult career of all! As you grow in your career, here is what you may be experiencing: seeing that not everyone is as supportive as they let on, resentment from others, jealousy, seeing the truth about people as well as industries may be different than you thought, feeling misunderstood, feeling a desire to do things differently, loss of friends, failure, fear, challenges handling all of the business you wanted and didn’t realize you weren’t prepared for, commitment issues, having to make risky choices, the challenge of following your intuition in business when it defies logic.
There are many more I could have listed, but I think I got the main ones. Growing in the business world, while being conscious and mindful, is one of the hardest things to balance. In our society, it’s common practice to “sell your soul” for a paycheck. Then, there’s the added pressure of how your business impacts your personal life. I have lost friends because I work too much, I have seen people lose relationships because their partners can’t handle how successful they are. I have seen people leave industries they worked so hard to succeed in due to discovering how unethical they are. All of these obstacles can be overwhelming and depressing, but if you stay focused on your ultimate goal, you can move beyond them. Create a collage or journal that reminds you of why you’re doing what you do. What do you hope to accomplish? What’s your mission? What are the real reasons you started this work, before it was about paying the bills or supporting your family. Have something you can look at on the days you want to quit, or the days you feel tempted to take a short cut, that reminds you of the purity of your motives, that reminds you of your passion, your goal, and your cause. Meditation is also a great tool, because it gives you the space to receive intuitive guidance and gain clarity around these issues as they come up. Spirit also says to ask for help and listen to advice, but at the end of the day, run everything by your own intuition. Make sure every decision feels right to you. Trust that as you are growing, as long as you are staying in integrity and remembering why you began this mission, you deserve to celebrate your success. You may encounter people that don’t understand why you work so hard, or why you are doing this type of work. That’s okay. You don’t have to make everyone understand or accept you. That just takes away from your time spent doing what’s important. People may leave your life, let them. Cherish the ones that support your life’s work. Give them appreciation, and allow them to celebrate with you. Spirit says to build a team of support- friends and family, that will help keep you grounded, help motivate you, and that will help you sort through the chaos that extreme growth can cause sometimes. Those people will be as much of a part of your success as you are. Most of all, be grateful. You have the chance to create real change- through your business, in your company, in your family. Do not take that for granted.
I applaud you for choosing the path of growth and expansion. It is not an easy road to walk, but it will reward you beyond what you imagined if you stay on it. If you find yourself struggling in any or all of these areas, I would love to support you! Reach out to me and I will help get you the clarity and the steps to take to make it through the struggle to the other side. I have been there, and I know firsthand that it’s possible!
Sending you infinite blessings!